In preparation for International Talk Like A Pirate Day (Friday, September 19th), I am bestowing on you my very first pattern: an Eye Patch!

This happens to be a very timely Talk Like A Pirate Day, because I find myself in the position of looking like a pirate, too. Why is that, you ask? Well, half of my face is paralyzed.

Last week I was diagnosed with Bell’s Palsy, a (temporary!!) condition where the seventh cranial nerve (the one that controls your face) gets inflamed or something? And gets smashed up and all of a sudden, you are paralyzed on one side of your face! They don’t really know what causes it.  Maybe a virus?  Who knows.

(This is me smiling. Seriously.)

It happened while I was putting on my makeup last Wednesday. I thought I was having a stroke (you know, they always say that half of you becomes paralyzed when you’re having a stroke). But I am happy to say that no, its just a nuisance.

The bright side of all this is that when I try to smile, I look like I’m doing the “yarrrrgh” thing that pirates do, and I can’t close my eye, so I have to wear an eye patch… Okay, I don’t wear one as much as I should. I don’t want people to think I’m one of those weird eye-patch-wearing-pirate-wannabes. Which is why I got soap in my eye the other night at work: no reflexes.

So I knit an eye patch! The one is knit in Claudia’s Hand Painted in Hawaii.  It is lined with wool felt and has a heavy interfacing in it to give it structure.  It is also weighted so it actually hangs over your eye.

So, here you are:

Natalie’s Fabulous Palsy Eye Patch

Size:
One size fits all

Materials:
Any fingering weight yarn – you could use scraps, really
Heavy interfacing or a piece of plastic – cut from a milk jug, perhaps?
Fabric for the backing – use something that won’t fray, like felt or fleece
A penny or nickel to weight it

Tools:
US Size 2 Needles
Sharp darning needle
Scissors to cut fabric
Small crochet hook for cord (you could, in theory, do an i-cord, but I prefer my cord to be a little less bulky)

Directions:
CO 18 sts
Slipping the first stitch of every row, knit as follows:
Rows 1-3: Knit
Row 4 (WS): Purl
Rows 5-12: Work in stockinette (starting with knit row)
Row 13 (RS): K to last 2 sts, k2tog
Row 14 (WS): P to last 2 sts, p2to
Repeat rows 13 & 14 until you have 10 sts left on your needle (should be row 21)
Row 21: BO 2 sts, K to end
Row 22: BO 2 sts, P to end
Row 23: BO remaining stitches.
Weave in ends.

At this point, stretch out your little patch and trace it on some paper.  Cut out your little patch pattern and use it to cut out a matching piece of your backing fabric.  Also cut out a matching piece of interfacing, but trim it just a smidge smaller than your patch and backing so it fits nicely inside.

Using your darning needle and your yarn, blanket stitch the backing fabric around your patch, starting at one corner and going around.  Leave the top open!!  Slip the interfacing in through the top, add your weight, and blanket stitch the top closed.  Weave in your ends.

Optional:  Use some yarn to gather the top ever-so-slightly to make your patch a little convex.

At this point, crochet two chains long enough to tie comfortably at the back of your head.  Attach these to the top corners of your patch.  You can do this with the crochet hook or your needle.  Weave in ends.

Yay!  You’re done!

How did I do?  Are there any noticeable mistakes?  Let me know in the comments!  And if you knit this, let me see it!